What is Self Development?
"A process by a persons character or abilities is gradually developed"
Self Development isn't about changing who you are as a person, its about bringing your unique personality hidden within back to the forefront and accepting who you are. Everyone is unique and beautiful, and society can sometimes allow your brain to feel that you have flaws or not worthy enough.
I certainly felt that, and after realising and accepting that I have Anxiety, its a part of me, I wanted to bring back the person I knew I was underneath, that the Anxiety and Depression was suppressing and hiding within me.
Self Development isn't an instant process, it takes time and patience but the results are clearly visible right from day 1.
The first stage I went through was acceptance and finding my willpower. I knew that I had a long road to travel, but I was determined to make that journey. So I grabbed a notebook and pen, and the very first thing I wrote was who I was before I felt that Anxiety had taken control. What did I love doing, what were my hobbies, what were my interests, what made me smile, who was I as a person!
I didn't write it neatly, I didn't write it in a list, I just scribbled it down as it came into my mind.
Here is a few things I wrote:-
~ wearing my heels
~ watching Lord Of The Rings
~ having a long pamper bath
~ reading a book
I haven't done many of the things I wrote for several years, and I was just on auto pilot to get through each day, putting every one else's need to the front and pushing my life to the back.
So after I wrote my list, I then turned the page and wrote a letter to myself, apologising to the inner me, the me that was hidden away and said I was sorry for not looking after her for so long, but things were going to change and I was going to let her be free.
It was a big relief I can tell you. Now some people think this is all a load of codswallop, but I find it so therapeutic and it has been the turning point of my life.
Every day I made sure I looked at my list, I added to it, I kept it in my mind. I started to write more list, more things that I needed to get out. I started to understand more about me, what made me tick, what made me happy, what made me get through the day easier.
Whether that was being more organised, or spending time on myself. Including meditation (which i cover in the Meditation section), it was all about finding me as a person again. I started to put my make up on more often, I started to laugh and enjoy things during the day more. I kept working on who I was and making sure that was a priority in my day.